Another year passed, another year older...ugh! lol
This has been a busy year for me. When I look back over my calendar I realize that I've done a LOT of traveling this year. Most of it was work related, but I did manage to have some personal travel time. I spent a week in London for vacation in March. Then in April I went to Boston (twice) for meetings. The two trips were just before and after the Boston bombing. In May I went to Idaho (the DUH part) to watch my niece graduate from high school. Then in July I spent ten days in Japan as a part of a program for school administrators. Later in July I drove down to LA for a family reunion. In October I went up to San Francisco for my brother's wedding. I spent two weeks in Orlando for a conference (and vacation) in November, and at the beginning of December spent two days in Beijing for another work conference. My last trip was to Utah for Christmas. Flying-wise I racked up more than 50,000 miles. I now have Gold Status on Delta!! Bring on the upgrades!!!
2013 was also a sad year for me. I lost my first born dog, Parley. I didn't know he was sick until early February when I took him in for a routine teeth cleaning. Because he was over 10 years old, they recommended extra blood work, and they found that he was having problems with his kidneys. Basically they were operating at less than 30%. It was very surprising because Parley never acted sick. He just seemed like the normal dog that he always was. They kept him at the clinic for a few days and rehydrated him, but the vet warned that it would help him in the short term, but that he could go downhill quickly. He got sick again in late May and this time I was sure it was the end. He spent an entire week at the vet, this time he was acting sick. He had thrown up a few times and wouldn't eat for days. Crazy enough, he pulled through and got better. He ended up passing away the day before I came home from my trip to Japan. I was devastated. It's so funny how I still expect him to be around. When I get up from the couch I check to make sure he isn't underfoot. Now that I've moved homes I keep having this recurring dream where he is lost and can't find me because he only knows where our old house was. :(
I did get a new puppy to replace Parley. Hinckley, another cocker spaniel, joined my family in September. He's quite a little monster, but he's tons of fun too. He is about to turn six months old next week, and he has really started turning into the cuddler. My other cocker, Hunter, is warming up to him and they play together now. (And yes, you might have noticed my dog names...Parley, Hunter, and Hinckley. When I was right out of high school my family got a cocker spaniel, we named him Kimball. When I decided to get my own dog I jokingly said I'd give him a church name. My sister and I went back and forth with some names (Mahonri, Teancum, etc.), but when we came to Parley, I loved it! Then when I got my other two dogs I just kept it up.
I sold my house in September. It's the first house I ever bought and I lived in it for ten years. That's the longest I've ever lived in one place in my entire life. I moved into my new house the day before my China trip in early December. I just unpacked the last box the other day, so I guess I'm officially moved in. I still need to hang up pictures and buy some furniture, but that's going to wait a few weeks. I'm kicking around the idea of doing some painting and replacing the interior doors.
Overall it was a good year. I had some down times, but who doesn't? I'm still single...anyone? anyone?
Tuesday, December 31, 2013
Saturday, December 28, 2013
NEWS FLASH: Pigs Fly, There are people Ice Skating in Hell, Gay are Getting Married in Utah!
Well, this has been an interesting week with all of the gay marriage stuff going on in Utah. I have a few friends who got married. One couple that I worked with years ago, have been together for 15 years. It is great that they are now a legal family. They adopted a little girl back in 2002. I'm so happy for them. Another former co-worker of mine married her partner the day after they had their first baby. How's that for a busy week? Then just this morning on Facebook one of my friends from my BYU days announced that he was getting married today to his partner...one of the first guys I dated. (Not as awkward as it may seem.) They've been together for at least 12 years.
I'm sure that there are other people I know who have recently gotten married, but I just haven't heard about it yet. How exciting! It was amazing seeing the pictures of the long lines of couples waiting to get married. I just want to ask those people who think it's "all about sex" what the lines are for. I mean if these people just want to have sex, why are they waiting in line? If it isn't about love, why are they doing it? I think we all know you don't need to be gay married to have gay sex. (Can I get an amen?) Anyhow, I know that there are people who are so upset about the whole thing. I'm one who really truly tries to see the other person's side in a dispute. If I can understand where they're coming from, it makes it easier for me to deal with them. I just can't figure out how these people think that their marriages are somehow diminished, harmed, etc. just because gays are getting married. I can only think that they have decided that God is against it so they are too.
I've enjoyed reading other people's comments and postings about what has been going on. Some of the best that I've read are below:
- A Gay Biologist:
- Inside My Life as a Gay Mormon:
- Mormons Building Bridges:
It's been very interesting. I went home to my parents' house in Kaysville (Utah) for Christmas, and the gay marriage thing NEVER came up. I don't think it was on purpose, but I could be wrong. I think it's just reached a point in my family that it is a non-issue. When I say non-issue I mean they just aren't making a deal out of anything gay. It is what it is. Maybe I should have brought it up to see what people would have said. (I will admit to being a shit stirrer from time to time.)
I'm going to end this here. I have a few points I want to make, but my sleeping pills are kicking in and I am having to correct too many typing errors. :)
Tuesday, December 3, 2013
Holy Long Time, No See Batman!
Wow, it's been MONTHS since I last posted anything! I'm sitting here at work bored to death...not because I don't have anything to do, I just don't have anything that I want to do. I'm excited about my new house. I signed all of the paperwork yesterday, and I'm just waiting from my Realtor to call me so that I can get my keys.
I must say that I've been very lucky with this purchase. I have lived in my old house for over ten years...the longest I've EVER lived in any house. Earlier this year homes in my neighborhood were selling for $60-70 thousand, so I was upside-down on my loan. I checked prices out again in August and noticed that they had doubled, so I decided to try selling. I found an excellent Realtor, she came over, took pictures, put the house up on the MLS listing and the very next day I had an offer for the full asking price! I couldn't believe it.
It took several weeks to find my new house, but I'm very pleased. It's an older home...built in 1976, but the previous owners have done all of the expensive remodel work: custom cabinets, granite counter tops, real wood flooring, tiled shower, etc. I love it! It's about 500 sq. ft. larger than my old house, but still three bedrooms. There are a few things that I'll eventually change in the house, like repaint the yellow family room, but there really isn't anything that sticks out as needing immediate attention. The best part of this house is the fact that I actually have a back yard! If you know the Las Vegas area, you understand what I mean. Land is a premium here, and in many cases, your back yard is more like a tiny square of land with dirt or rocks. This yard actually has grass! My dogs will be so happy.
I'm moving in tomorrow, and then on Thursday I'm off to China for a few days for work. Am I crazy? Yes...
I must say that I've been very lucky with this purchase. I have lived in my old house for over ten years...the longest I've EVER lived in any house. Earlier this year homes in my neighborhood were selling for $60-70 thousand, so I was upside-down on my loan. I checked prices out again in August and noticed that they had doubled, so I decided to try selling. I found an excellent Realtor, she came over, took pictures, put the house up on the MLS listing and the very next day I had an offer for the full asking price! I couldn't believe it.
It took several weeks to find my new house, but I'm very pleased. It's an older home...built in 1976, but the previous owners have done all of the expensive remodel work: custom cabinets, granite counter tops, real wood flooring, tiled shower, etc. I love it! It's about 500 sq. ft. larger than my old house, but still three bedrooms. There are a few things that I'll eventually change in the house, like repaint the yellow family room, but there really isn't anything that sticks out as needing immediate attention. The best part of this house is the fact that I actually have a back yard! If you know the Las Vegas area, you understand what I mean. Land is a premium here, and in many cases, your back yard is more like a tiny square of land with dirt or rocks. This yard actually has grass! My dogs will be so happy.
I'm moving in tomorrow, and then on Thursday I'm off to China for a few days for work. Am I crazy? Yes...
Wednesday, March 20, 2013
Jolly Old England...just not for me.
Hello out there...I'm on vacation in London. I've been here for almost a week, and I go home tomorrow morning. Overall it's been a nice trip. I got to see lots of the things I didn't get to see on my last trip here in 2009. I was sidelined a bit by a brief cold that hit me the morning I left home. By the time I made it to London, the cold was in full effect. My body was sore, my nose was constantly running, I was coughing, couldn't breathe, etc. I wiped my nose so much I got that painful raw patch underneath my nostril (that looks so attractive too). Anyhow, it's mostly gone, but the dreadful cold and rain that they've had here in London hasn't helped. I think yesterday was the first day that I didn't rain.
So what am I doing today? Nothing...it's my last day in this city, it's almost 4:00 p.m., and I'm still in my pajamas in bed. Why? My good old friend depression. :(
Here's the thing, I'm here alone...like I am on all of my trips. I don't really mind it, I travel alone all the time. It's easier that way because everything gets done exactly the way I want it. I always get my way! I don't have to compromise. The problem is, I ALWAYS get depressed when I travel. Traveling alone is a very lonely thing, and usually I hit a point where it gets to me. So what triggered it this time? Two things.
First of all, last night I went to dinner at a wonderful restaurant: Jamie's Italian (by British Chef Jamie Oliver). The food was fantastic...I had the Chicken Cacciatori special. It was so good. So, I get seated, order my virgin mojito (also good) and the hostess sits a couple at the table next to me...a gay couple. They're young and beautiful with that sexy British accent, and they're together, obviously on a date. I think they might have been celebrating a little anniversary. I just sat there eavesdropping on their conversation. Telling each other about their day at work. Sharing appetizers. One of them spilled a little sauce on his shirt. The other one helped clean it off him. I was mesmerized and so alone and it made me sadder and sadder. Jealousy is such an ugly trait, and I wear it so well!! I finished my meal, paid, and left...and walked back to my hotel room alone. Wah-wah-wah....
Here's the second thing that happened: Not only did I not get the new job I applied for, I got an e-mail telling me that I wasn't even going to be considered for an interview. Now this is a job that MULTIPLE people said I would be perfect for. I know I would have done an excellent job. The minimum qualifications were all me, but I didn't even get an interview. If you don't get an interview in our system, it means the screening committee felt you weren't qualified. I'm sorry, but that's just bullshit. (Pardon my language.) Here's the thing, I KNEW I wasn't going to get the job. (There were two positions...and it would have been about a $25,000 raise!) I knew exactly who the two people were that they would hire, and I personally know that neither of them meet the minimum qualifications for the job. I'm not saying this to boost my ego, it's the simple truth. But here's another thing, I don't really want to work for the person that would have been my boss. She's an awful tyrant who is bipolar. I would have to walk on egg shells around her. And if I got the job, one of my co-workers would immediately try to act like she's my boss when we would be equals. I know I would have ended up regretting taking the job. So why am I mad? I never really had my heart set on the job because I knew it was going to go to these other two people. There never was any doubt in my mind. WHY AM I UPSET ABOUT THIS?
So, I get back to the hotel, read my e-mail telling me that I'm not getting interviewed, and then end up not sleeping. I have been up for over 28 hours now. I stayed up all night reading and chatting online because I had to fill my mind up with something else or I would fill it with thoughts about this stupid job and my being alone. I'm afraid to be alone with my thoughts because they will completely undo me. I have spent my last day in London laying in bed feeling sorry for myself not going out to see the last places I planned to visit. I am completely screwing myself over, and I'm fully aware of it. WHY AM I DOING THIS? I just don't get it. I will eventually get up, shower, and leave my room. I have to eat, for crying out loud....my stomach is making awful noises. Plus I have tickets to see Helen Mirren in the play The Audience here on the West End. I definitely won't miss it, but why have I done this? Again!
I'm almost 43 years old...yet I spend at least one day a week hidden away from the world (usually Sunday). I get up at some crazy late hour (usually after 10 a.m.) and lay on the couch all day like a vegetable watching TV. I don't shower, brush my teeth, etc. If I do leave my house, it's only to go get food. Sometimes I feel so childish and immature. Are there people I could call to hang out? Yes, but I don't want to. I just want to be alone wallowing in my being alone. See how stupid this is? I'm lonely, and I'm depressed about being lonely, so I shut myself off from everyone...alone. And yes, I take medication...my crazy pills can't fix this.
Please tell me I'm not the only person who acts stupid like this. I am fully aware of how asinine I am being, yet I continue. Why am I upset about this job? Why am I still jealous over those two boys in the restaurant? Why am I still in this damn bed?
UGH!
So what am I doing today? Nothing...it's my last day in this city, it's almost 4:00 p.m., and I'm still in my pajamas in bed. Why? My good old friend depression. :(
Here's the thing, I'm here alone...like I am on all of my trips. I don't really mind it, I travel alone all the time. It's easier that way because everything gets done exactly the way I want it. I always get my way! I don't have to compromise. The problem is, I ALWAYS get depressed when I travel. Traveling alone is a very lonely thing, and usually I hit a point where it gets to me. So what triggered it this time? Two things.
First of all, last night I went to dinner at a wonderful restaurant: Jamie's Italian (by British Chef Jamie Oliver). The food was fantastic...I had the Chicken Cacciatori special. It was so good. So, I get seated, order my virgin mojito (also good) and the hostess sits a couple at the table next to me...a gay couple. They're young and beautiful with that sexy British accent, and they're together, obviously on a date. I think they might have been celebrating a little anniversary. I just sat there eavesdropping on their conversation. Telling each other about their day at work. Sharing appetizers. One of them spilled a little sauce on his shirt. The other one helped clean it off him. I was mesmerized and so alone and it made me sadder and sadder. Jealousy is such an ugly trait, and I wear it so well!! I finished my meal, paid, and left...and walked back to my hotel room alone. Wah-wah-wah....
Here's the second thing that happened: Not only did I not get the new job I applied for, I got an e-mail telling me that I wasn't even going to be considered for an interview. Now this is a job that MULTIPLE people said I would be perfect for. I know I would have done an excellent job. The minimum qualifications were all me, but I didn't even get an interview. If you don't get an interview in our system, it means the screening committee felt you weren't qualified. I'm sorry, but that's just bullshit. (Pardon my language.) Here's the thing, I KNEW I wasn't going to get the job. (There were two positions...and it would have been about a $25,000 raise!) I knew exactly who the two people were that they would hire, and I personally know that neither of them meet the minimum qualifications for the job. I'm not saying this to boost my ego, it's the simple truth. But here's another thing, I don't really want to work for the person that would have been my boss. She's an awful tyrant who is bipolar. I would have to walk on egg shells around her. And if I got the job, one of my co-workers would immediately try to act like she's my boss when we would be equals. I know I would have ended up regretting taking the job. So why am I mad? I never really had my heart set on the job because I knew it was going to go to these other two people. There never was any doubt in my mind. WHY AM I UPSET ABOUT THIS?
So, I get back to the hotel, read my e-mail telling me that I'm not getting interviewed, and then end up not sleeping. I have been up for over 28 hours now. I stayed up all night reading and chatting online because I had to fill my mind up with something else or I would fill it with thoughts about this stupid job and my being alone. I'm afraid to be alone with my thoughts because they will completely undo me. I have spent my last day in London laying in bed feeling sorry for myself not going out to see the last places I planned to visit. I am completely screwing myself over, and I'm fully aware of it. WHY AM I DOING THIS? I just don't get it. I will eventually get up, shower, and leave my room. I have to eat, for crying out loud....my stomach is making awful noises. Plus I have tickets to see Helen Mirren in the play The Audience here on the West End. I definitely won't miss it, but why have I done this? Again!
I'm almost 43 years old...yet I spend at least one day a week hidden away from the world (usually Sunday). I get up at some crazy late hour (usually after 10 a.m.) and lay on the couch all day like a vegetable watching TV. I don't shower, brush my teeth, etc. If I do leave my house, it's only to go get food. Sometimes I feel so childish and immature. Are there people I could call to hang out? Yes, but I don't want to. I just want to be alone wallowing in my being alone. See how stupid this is? I'm lonely, and I'm depressed about being lonely, so I shut myself off from everyone...alone. And yes, I take medication...my crazy pills can't fix this.
Please tell me I'm not the only person who acts stupid like this. I am fully aware of how asinine I am being, yet I continue. Why am I upset about this job? Why am I still jealous over those two boys in the restaurant? Why am I still in this damn bed?
UGH!
Wednesday, February 13, 2013
Mortality
On Saturday I took my two dogs (cocker spaniels) to the vet for their annual teeth cleaning. Their dog breath has been AWFUL lately! LOL
Being that both of my dogs are considered to be senior citizens, (they're 10 and 8) I followed the vet's recommendation that they do blood work before administering anesthesia. A little bit after I dropped them off, the vet called me about my older dog, Parley. Apparently his blood work showed that he had some type of kidney infection and that his numbers were really bad. They put him on an IV with an antibiotic and ran a urinalysis. She said she wanted to keep him at the hospital for a few days to observe him and keep him on fluids. He apparently was dehydrated. (Which is weird because this dog drinks water like there's a shortage or something!)
Basically after keeping him on the IV for a few days and running all of their tests he has a few things wrong with him. First of all he has a urinary tract infection. In addition he has kidney disease. Originally they thought that the infection was causing the kidney problems, but it's not. They're two separate problems. The kidney problem is what is making him dehydrated. She says it doesn't matter how much water he drinks, his kidneys aren't doing their job, so the water basically just runs out of him. Right now his kidneys are working at 33%, which is really bad. The vet says that the best thing for him would be to keep him hooked up to IV fluids 24/7, but of course that's not possible.
The craziest thing about this is that if you saw him, you'd never know he was sick. He looks and acts fine. I really had no clue that he was so sick, which makes me feel terrible. I did notice that he's lost some weight, but since I have had both of the dogs on a diet (including myself), I didn't think it was odd. Apparently, he's lost too much weight though, and that's due to the kidney disease.
I normally keep them locked up in the kitchen when I go to work because they have been known to spend the day outside barking, and I got some complaints from my neighbors. Well a few weeks ago I came home and one of them had peed in the kitchen. This is odd because they never have accidents in the house (unless it rains...they're too prissy to go out in the rain). I figured it was a fluke, so I didn't give it a second thought. Well, the next day I came home and found more pee in the kitchen. Again, I didn't get too worried because I thought it was just because they're getting older and can't hold it as long as they used to. Now I know it's because of the disease. Now I'm annoyed with myself because I feel like I should have noticed the signs earlier, but as they say, hindsight is 20/20.
Today he gets to come home. According to the vet, she has no idea when things will go downhill for him. He isn't in any danger of dying right away, but it all just depends. The disease isn't something that's come on all of a sudden. It's been gradual. Being on IV fluids and antibiotics for the past few days has been good for him and has raised his numbers. They're not great, but they're much better. What that means is that now that he's at home and off the fluids, his numbers can go bad slowly or quickly. The vet says that he could be fine for several months, several weeks, or just a few days.
I'm absolutely beside myself with this. I know that dogs die...it happens all the time. My family had three dogs when I was growing up, and they all eventually died. I know this, but it is just devastating news. I've had him since he was a puppy. I took him to puppy training. I taught him how to go up and down the stairs. He is the smartest dog I've ever had. I just can't imagine life without my Parley P.
It always strikes me as funny how we all understand about mortality. We know that no person or animal lives forever, but once we're faced with it, we're kicked in the gut. On an intellectual level I understand it, but on an emotional level, I'm a wreck!!
Being that both of my dogs are considered to be senior citizens, (they're 10 and 8) I followed the vet's recommendation that they do blood work before administering anesthesia. A little bit after I dropped them off, the vet called me about my older dog, Parley. Apparently his blood work showed that he had some type of kidney infection and that his numbers were really bad. They put him on an IV with an antibiotic and ran a urinalysis. She said she wanted to keep him at the hospital for a few days to observe him and keep him on fluids. He apparently was dehydrated. (Which is weird because this dog drinks water like there's a shortage or something!)
Basically after keeping him on the IV for a few days and running all of their tests he has a few things wrong with him. First of all he has a urinary tract infection. In addition he has kidney disease. Originally they thought that the infection was causing the kidney problems, but it's not. They're two separate problems. The kidney problem is what is making him dehydrated. She says it doesn't matter how much water he drinks, his kidneys aren't doing their job, so the water basically just runs out of him. Right now his kidneys are working at 33%, which is really bad. The vet says that the best thing for him would be to keep him hooked up to IV fluids 24/7, but of course that's not possible.
The craziest thing about this is that if you saw him, you'd never know he was sick. He looks and acts fine. I really had no clue that he was so sick, which makes me feel terrible. I did notice that he's lost some weight, but since I have had both of the dogs on a diet (including myself), I didn't think it was odd. Apparently, he's lost too much weight though, and that's due to the kidney disease.
I normally keep them locked up in the kitchen when I go to work because they have been known to spend the day outside barking, and I got some complaints from my neighbors. Well a few weeks ago I came home and one of them had peed in the kitchen. This is odd because they never have accidents in the house (unless it rains...they're too prissy to go out in the rain). I figured it was a fluke, so I didn't give it a second thought. Well, the next day I came home and found more pee in the kitchen. Again, I didn't get too worried because I thought it was just because they're getting older and can't hold it as long as they used to. Now I know it's because of the disease. Now I'm annoyed with myself because I feel like I should have noticed the signs earlier, but as they say, hindsight is 20/20.
Today he gets to come home. According to the vet, she has no idea when things will go downhill for him. He isn't in any danger of dying right away, but it all just depends. The disease isn't something that's come on all of a sudden. It's been gradual. Being on IV fluids and antibiotics for the past few days has been good for him and has raised his numbers. They're not great, but they're much better. What that means is that now that he's at home and off the fluids, his numbers can go bad slowly or quickly. The vet says that he could be fine for several months, several weeks, or just a few days.
I'm absolutely beside myself with this. I know that dogs die...it happens all the time. My family had three dogs when I was growing up, and they all eventually died. I know this, but it is just devastating news. I've had him since he was a puppy. I took him to puppy training. I taught him how to go up and down the stairs. He is the smartest dog I've ever had. I just can't imagine life without my Parley P.
It always strikes me as funny how we all understand about mortality. We know that no person or animal lives forever, but once we're faced with it, we're kicked in the gut. On an intellectual level I understand it, but on an emotional level, I'm a wreck!!
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